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Submitted by captivecrystal on Sun, 2008-03-09 01:08.

my husband and i met in australia, i got pregnant only two weeks after meeting him. He is irish and i am canadian. i went home to canada to have the baby and after six months i gave him an ultimatum to come to canada and be part of our lives or not to be. he came over and my son was born in feb 06. my husband told me that if i came to ireland i could leave with our son at any time. i believed him. he told me that it was a lovely place and his family was dying to meet our son. i agreed to come over on the condition that if i didn't like it, we were free to come back at any time. before we came over to ireland we got legally married... upon arriving in ireland, my husband became verbally abusive and began punching walls. he went out every night with his friends leaving me with our baby alone all day and night. i became so depressed i couldn't function. he treated me with disrespect and on several occasions became physically abusive, i had to ring the police. one incident he attacked me while i was holding our baby and forced me to drop the baby onto the ground. his family didn't and doesn't believe a word i say. they are absolutely horrific. he took me to court and got access to see his son. he sees him from friday to monday night. his days off are monday and tuesday and his mother looks after the baby while he's working, she also looks after him while my now ex-husband goes out with his friends on the nights he has our son. he is 26 years old! he refuses to take our son on his tuesdays off because he says he needs time to himself. now i'm stuck in this country with not a friend, not a single support so that he can see his child for one day a week. i'm thinking i should just pull the plug and go home. my quality of life is just really bad. so is my son's becuase his mommy is so unhappy. i just wonder what to do? my life revolves around my sons his father. it's like he has all the rights and my rights don't exist. my son doesn't need a father like him around. i've even had a barring order against him. he had to make an undertaking to the court in november to not threaten or harras or abuse me in any way. not a positive role model at all. another thing, in canada the medical system is free and instant. here we've been waiting over a month to see a doctor. my mother's side of the family hasn't even met my son. does he not have a right to meet my family too? i'm so glad i found this websight. is there anyone who wins these cases? i think i really got myself into a jam coming here, this HAGUE convention is like a big blanket just smothering peoples lives, it needs to change. this just isnt right.


Submitted by samrobertson on Thu, 2007-11-22 20:58.

I emigrated to Australia in April 2007 with my husband and three children, aged 2,3, and 8. We had been having marriage problems, my husband had had numerous affairs and had become violent towards me. However, he promised me the earth if I went with him, and I was not to deprive the children of a much better life in Australia. I know now that I should never have got on the plane but at the time I was not in a position to make a rational decision.
After 3 months, my husband embarked on another affair with a fellow policewoman. I found out, and he became aggressive and threatening towards me and the children again. My mother was visting at the time and asked me what did I want to do? I went and sought legal advice, the solicitor advised that once I was on the plane at Singapore, I was free and my husband could not stop me. Not at any time did he mention the Hague Convention and the fact that I was committing an offence.
I landed in Heathrow on 7 Sept 2007 and headed up to Scotland with my children. The children were delighted to be home. My husband followed us a few weeks later. He was given access to the children in the time he was here, then he returned to Australia without us. On his arrival back in Oz he instructed a solicitor, and I was served papers citing me for international abduction under the Hague Convention. I had never heard of this law, and was shocked that such a thing was never brought to our attention prior to emigrating.
I lost my case last week, and was ordered to return with the children within 7 days. I had 5 witness statements and affadavits confirming the abuse and trauma I had received prior to going to Oz. The judge tore me apart for going to Oz, I regret that every day since but at the time I thought I was doing the right thing for my children. She still found me guilty even though my eldest has expressed strongly that he does not want to return.
I have been told I cannot appeal the decision as we have nothing to appeal with. In desperation, I went onto the internet to do some research. I found this wonderful site and the support Stacey has given us has been amazing already. I have really bad days where everything feels hopeless, but am determined to fight.
This Hague Convention needs to be challenged so the children can be heard.


Submitted by Rebecca on Fri, 2007-11-23 22:32.

Hi Sam
Stacey has contacted me today to ask me to help with your situation, and having read your story I cannot believe that what happened to me two and a half years ago is now happening to you. My story is on this website, and by abiding by the order of the high court to return to Australia I opened up a life of homelessness and poverty for myself and my son. I have campaigned and written to many government agencies in Australia, particularly the Commonwealth Attorney Generals Dept and the Attorney General in particular, Phillip Ruddock. If you do not hold a permanent resident visa you will not get any financial help or housing on your return, and if you are on a spouse visa, the fact that you have separated from your husband will lead to it being cancelled anyway as you have not been there for two years. You sound like me by wanting to fight this, and if you can make contact with me I will help you. The Australian Family Court issued a document earlier this year about how to proceed with Hague Convention matters and trying mediation via judges etc before ordering children back. You are in a strong position to fight this and I have a lot of information for you that I need to give you in person rather than via a website. Please contact Stacey again and ask her for my email address and contact me that way with your phone number and I shall ring you,
best of luck, Rebecca.
PS, if you were in South Australia I had an excellent solicitor in Adelaide and I won my relocation case. I have also put postings on the parent forum on the Reunite website at www.reunite.org which relate directly to Australia and the problems I encountered. Get in touch soon.


Submitted by Deborah on Fri, 2007-05-25 22:47.

Hello stacey and Jessica I hope you are all bearing up as well as can be expected in these terrible situations that the Hague Convention law is putting our dear children through.I am in the same situation as yourselves, we are stuck in Australia and we wanted to return back home to England but the Family Courts in Australia will not let us do so. This situation has left us with no permanent place to live and no money left (due to me having to sell my house in the uk to pay for my legal fees in Australia). It is very hard not having the love, security, help and support for us both here in Australia. After the court case my ex has now reduced contact and child support for our son. My son and I are living a lonely and isolated life with this situation. Do the family courts not see all this? My ex and his family are still abusive and nasty towards myself and my son and my ex and his family still have the heavy drinking problem.

We met and married in the uk and our son was born in the uk so we are all uk citizens. We were only coming to Australia to see how we liked it and I did not know about this Hague Convention law which we should have been advised at the time of application for a temporary a temporary visa to Australia. We had only been in Australia for 18mths. I wish that immigration would advise us parents of this on the application forms as I would not have come in the first place.

Does the best interests of the child matter? In my case my son was not been taken away from his father as his father has every right to live back in the uk with his son. However the best interests of my ex has been taken into account in my case and not our sons.

I spoke to a solicitor yesterday who stated that the laws are trying to make it harder for parents to relocate by bringing out the new law here which gives each parent 50/50 custody rights of the child. So is this not a better reason to make parents aware of moving abroad with children even on a temporary basis.

Does anyone know who and where we can talk to? As I feel just so helpless and I just keep hitting my head against a brick wall.

I wish you all the best no matter what your situations are? I would like to see the laws changed as this is not good for our children.


Submitted by karlhindle on Thu, 2007-04-26 17:34.

My daughter, Emily Rose Hindle, was born in the UK March 1st 2002. and removed by her US mother to America in February 2003.

In March 2003 Emily was placed up for an unlawful adoption arrangement and into the care of a convicted paedophile in Wisconsin.

http://emilyrosehindle.blogspot.com/2006/11/convicted-paedophile-testifies-to.html

Emily was diagnosed and treated for a congenital eye condition rendering her blind in one of her eyes unless treated. Emily has been examined by 10 US and UK eye doctors and has been found to be treatable but has received no medical treatment in the US and is now permanently blinded.

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7847/3251/1600/Emily%27s%20medical%20report.3.jpg

Emily was also classified as missing and endangered child in the US until she was located once more.

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7847/3251/1600/FDLE%20Poster.0.jpg

I was arrested in the US when embarking on the legal process in America in May 2004 and spent a month in immigration detention- this was at the request of Barbara Greig, a team leader at the US Central Authority for the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction and this has subsequently been denied by senior US government officials (including Assistant Secretary of State Maura Harty)

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7847/3251/1600/Immigration%20Report.2.jpg

Ms Greig also claimed that I had abducted my daughter from America and supplied a Hague application to British authorities that can now be demonstrated as a fraud on the British High Court and UK authorities.

I have also obtained papers which demonstrate that the US Embassy London unlawfully issued a US passport to my child in violation of US law and the Hague Convention in order to effect her removal from the UK.

I also have police reports from the US that state my child was removed from the UK because I was an abuser and was further not to know where my daughter was in the US according to Patricia Mesner of the US Embassy London UK.

I have been cleared of all allegations of abuse and had this decision reaffirmed on several occassions by the US courts and the British High Court.

I am now denied entry to the United States by the same US officials that assisted in the abduction of my child and ordered my arrest while attempting to litigate the matter in the US and am unable to proceed with legal proceedings in the US nor will the US officials comply with any of the US or UK court orders ("....these do not count..." - William Muntean, US Embassy London UK).


Submitted by Rainbow on Sat, 2007-04-28 19:10.

My youngest daughter is called Emily too. Your story is very tragic and I think it highlights the horrendous problems in international situations. These stories need to be publicised in order to change the way things are dealt with. The welfare of the children involved needs to be made the key priority. Countries need to cooperate much more in matters concerning children in order to cut through a lot of the red tape.

I hope things change for the positive for you soon.


Submitted by karlhindle on Mon, 2007-05-14 02:07.

Thank you for your kind words - international situations seem to be an instance where "best interests of the child" are deiberately ignored and what we are seeing in many of these cases reflects the insanity of this approach.

Getting the international community to cooperate more does not seem to be the first thing that needs attention - it is the Vague Hague Convention that needs to be addressed !

Regards

Karl

Karl Hindle
KarlHindle@aol.com
www.emilyrosehindle.blogspot.com


Submitted by Michelle Ferguson on Fri, 2007-04-27 17:27.

I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LITTLE GIRL.NO CHILD SHOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH ANY KIND OF ABUSE FROM EITHER PARENT.I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST AND MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND YOU LITTLE GIRL.GOD BLESS YOU BOTH.


Submitted by karlhindle on Mon, 2007-05-14 02:08.

Karl Hindle
KarlHindle@aol.com
www.emilyrosehindle.blogspot.com


Submitted by carrie on Tue, 2007-03-20 12:51.

I am trying to get my babies over to see me for a 1 week holiday at the end of April. My ex has stated to my solicitor that he will not let me have my children by myself, basically he has to be with us all the time and also when my children come over he wants them to stay at my aunties house with him.

I have not seen my children for 10 weeks now, and from seeing them every day to not seeing me and then seeing me but not without the father and not allowed to stay in their own bunk beds in their own home, is absolutely rediculous.

Does the Dutch/British government agree with abusing women.

So if I want to see my children I have to put up with him being there all the time sneering at me and god knows what else, and to say good night to my children when they have to go to my aunties house to sleep. My solicitor said that its only for this time as when the appeal comes through and if I end up getting holiday rights he does not have to come with my children.

But it just shows how F*****up the whole system is.

Is this situation healthy for my children, I DONT THIK SO. coming over to see me and not being able to stay in their home. Also seeing Mama and papa with each other, it is an EVIL situation. AAAAARRRRRGGGGG

Does ex expect us to play happy families, as 3 yrs ago I left him with our son and he won me back over by being the person I fell in love with. Is he trying the same tactic again??

I am now 36 weeks pregnant and baby will be born by the time my children come over. What are they going to think when they have to go back to helland without me and I stay at home with their baby brother or sister.

The system has broken my family up. I can hear the effect this is having on my children now but it will be in the future that we will see the real effect on my children, and it will be the systems fault.

P.S:Stacey and Jessica hope you both are being strong and keep eating as you both need your health at this moment. Good Luck.


Submitted by Clia on Fri, 2007-03-23 11:06.

Dear Carrie,
It makes me cry to read how horrible it goes with you and the kids. It is just so unbelivable and I really feel with you. If I just could do anything for you... If there is anything, please tell !!! Please stay strong!I know how it feels to be abused and manipulated. How dare they wanting to send you back in that situation. How dare they taking your kids away from your loving arms!


Submitted by sandra ferguson on Thu, 2007-03-22 07:27.

hi Carrie... you are certainly going through it girl.
I really do hope that you get to spend holiday time with your children without your Ex being present, you need this bonding special time again with them.
Do you have an appeal date yet?
Is there anything that we can do to help?
Do you have a friend who can be there for you when they visit? It would certainly help you to feel more in control of the situation. There is a lot to be said for having some backing in situations like this.
Hope the visit works well for yourself and your children... think positive!!
Stay strong Carrie, your children need you that way.


Submitted by carrie on Fri, 2007-03-02 18:01.

I had a relationship with a Dutch man for 7 years, After our son was born he got very abusive towards me so I left him and returned to Scotland for 3-4 months then he convinced me that he had changed so I returned with our son to Holland. His abuse towards me started up again while I was pregnant with our daughter, after she was born the abuse got worse and it also started affecting our oldest child. I told him and his family that I was leaving him with our children (both born in Holland)18 June 2005 my father came over and helped us to return to Scotland. Ex came over alot of times to visit us, in January 06 he realised that I was seeing someone else and that we were all happy and moving on with our lives, I got a permanent home in March in which ex bought a cooker, washing machine and a freezer. He had taken the Hague Convention out on me saying I kidnapped our children. Edinburgh high court believed his story and children were ordered back to Holland. I returned to Holland with children and my mother on 6 August and started court proceedings to let me have residence of Melvin 5yrs and Suzie 2 1/2. Three months we stayed in 7-8 different hotels, I spoke to many people in Helland but absolutely noone would help us, a woman who worked in the city hall in The Hague told me to return home with children. But that was no option. Ex never helped us at all with accommodation only that I could stay at his mothers house or sisters, yeh back to the situation in which I left. 31 October my father told me that the bank loan money and their life savings had ran out so I had a choice stay in Holland on the streets or return home. I took my babies home. The judge made her verdict that I had habitual residency of children BUT we had to live in Holland. Ex is taking my to court this wednesday to have children returned again to Holland. I cannot return my babies to nothing, I could also get arrested on returning. The child protection in court advised that my daughter is to young to be taken away from me for more that 1 week and that my son would be used to his school etc. I explained through solicitors that ex can have children MORE if he allows us to stay in our home but he refused he has also refused to help with accomodation, everything. He just wants me back under his control. I am also 5 months pregnant with my partner. I am appealing the decision which could take 7 months to go to court, and in the meantime I have no home to take my children to I would have no money and I also have no health insurance for when unborn child is born, I have NO family or friends in Holland absolutely nothing.

My solicitor went to court for maintanance and ex stated that he wanted the children, the judge said that because of the circumstances he gets the holiday rights and children stays with me in Scotland. Ex took out the h/c on me again and a date was set for the 12 Jan BUT because of the judgement in helland I had to give the children to their father for a one week holiday. My father took them over 7th Jan and was promised that whatever the outcome of the court case ex would take them back to me. Everyday I said I will see the kids in 7,6,5,4,3,2 days 12th Jan came and the heartless judge said that my children had to stay in Helland. I was told to return to helland and could take children and live in a battered womens shelter for up to 1 year then I just might get a house, 6 months pregnant.

Today my solicitor went to court to get children returned to me, I will not know the verdict untill next Friday but it did not sound good for me at all, ex said that he will provide a house for me and children to live in near his house, and he also lied about my son being in hospital with constipation (through worry). The judge said that I should move back to helland and take ex's offer up about living in the house that he will provide. But the judge was not happy that ex didnt take children back to me.

I am now 8 months pregnant how can a judge say I should return to where I left nearly 2 years ago, live in a house beside where he lives and have no family or friends nothing, ex is using my poor innocent children to get me back into his power. He is a sick sick person. I would love to be with my children but I can not put myself into that abusive situation. If I did return my beautiful daughter would grow up thinking "well Mama stayed with an abuser so it must be alright for me to stay with mine" abuse is a vicious circle.

I love my children and want them with me, I miss them so much. All I can do now is wait untill next Friday. I feel emosionaly numd, I feel scared, I feel very very angry, I want to hit someone/something, I need to talk to someone, I cant talk to my parents as they are taking it harder that me. The law sucks big time. They go on about domesic violence but then turn around and tell me to return to it. Carrie


Submitted by jochem on Tue, 2007-03-20 20:27.

Carry, From your message I understand that a "guest room" in The Netherlands could be of help to you. Since I am living in The Netherlands I might be of help in finding a living place for you.
Please inform me how I can contact you on: jochemgroen@live.nl

Two of my grandchildren are also victems of the Hague Convention. So I would be pleased if I could be of help.
Jochem


Submitted by ainhoa on Thu, 2007-04-19 12:13.

I´ve only lived a few months in Netherlands I got here with my husband. His half dutch half spanish, and he wants to live here now, his got a job and everything. I do not wish to stay anymore and want to return to Spain with our little daoghter Isabel, 18 months. Now his talking to me saying I can not go back since it is child abduction according to the Hague convention. I know only a little about this - do you know where I could get more info about this? I am really scared he will take Isabel from me now, and I am scared of doing something criminal and I want to go back in the best way possible.

Greetings,
Ainhoa


Submitted by stacey on Fri, 2007-04-20 07:30.

I have every sympathy with you Ainhoa it sounds like your having a hard time. There are places that can advise you such as Reunite if you put that into goolge it comes up. They are the best people to advise you on what action to take. They are very warm and caring and put things to you in a way which you can understand, don't worry if your English isn't good they will still help you. I found their advice vital although I waited too long to contact them so please don't hesitate as time is a major factor in these cases.

The advice I can give you on the basis of your message is that the "Hague Convention" is based on the child's place of "habitual residence". This is the place in which a child has lived for over a year and become settled in it's environment. As you said you have only been their for a few months so that means that the Netherlands is not your daughters habitual place of residence in fact Spain is. So your partner cannot force you to stay there as you would be taking your daughter back to her home. I think reunite would say that once you get back to Spain you need to apply for a residence order for your daughter to stay in Spain and later apply for full custody. The reunite advice line number is 0116 2556 234 it is in the U.K but they have list of Lawyers all over the world that are specialised in these cases. I wish you all the best and again urge you to contact Reunite as soon as possible. Take care.

"The Bigger We Are The Louder The Voice"


Submitted by carrie on Sat, 2007-03-03 13:42.

Well since the court yesterday I have phoned to speak to my wee ones and no one answers the phone, I phoned at 6,7 and 8pm last night but no one answers, today I phoned early but yet again no one answers. I'm going to phone again tonight and if no one answers well I'l phone his family to get them to tell him to let me speak to my wee ones. How can a he put children through crap and then stop all contact with me, it is so so cruel.
It does help to know that other people are going through this and it's not just myself. This is a good site for people to help try and fill a gap. (if that sounds right). I just want to scream so if we all scream together it will turn heads to this mental abuse the government is putting our children and ourselves through.


Submitted by Clia on Mon, 2007-03-05 10:33.

Dear carrie, my heart is with you. There is just no end to all this wrong doing. I am in Germany at the moment, though waiting to be returned to england with my 19 month old daughter. But anyway, if you need to talk, to cry, to scream.... Call me 0049-3471317991 (I call you back) or e-mail me: cliab@web.de

All my love, Clia


Submitted by Rainbow on Sat, 2007-03-03 10:23.

I can really empathise with you.

Why oh why, doesn'T SOMEONE stop and look at the welfare issues and the views of the children in these cases.

Kim


Submitted by stacey on Fri, 2007-03-02 22:38.

This is how I felt, total desperation what do we do to deserve this, care for our children, protect them against harm, show them the correct way to grow up, hold them when they are distraught and what do we get, the Justice system sending them back to abuse. It's insane.................


Submitted by Rainbow on Fri, 2007-03-09 13:44.

I am English and my ex-partner is German. We both lived in France, on the border to Germany and had only ever worked in Germany. We have three daughters, Sophie 10,Ariane 8 and Emily,4. I have been the main carer since they were born.
I came over to the UK in July 2005 on the advice of my then French solicitor. This advice was wrong and I had to return to France with my children in October 2005 under the Hague Convention. I then applied to return to the UK legally. The French social worker’s report was in my favour and the french judge gave me permission to return to the UK legally in September 2006 which I did. However, my ex partner appealed and the appeal decision ordered that the children had to return to France to live with their father.
We were all surprised and shocked with this decision. Apparently, if I appeal at the Court of Cassation in Paris, I can only appeal on a point of law and would be unlikely to win. Furthermore, I am not entitled to legal aid in France because I am now habitually resident in the UK.
For this reason, I am trying to remain here through the UK courts. My ex-partner is trying to have the French appeal decision registered through the High Court on the 29th March under the Brussels 2 revised convention. I have been told, that the welfare and views of the children are unlikely to be considered here.

The children are very happy here and wish to remain living in the UK. I know that it would cause them emotional trauma , should they be separated from me and forced to return to France to live. The French social worker actually wrote in her report that it was, in her opinion, virtually impossible to separate the children from their mother.
The situation is further complicated by the fact that my ex-partner wasted no time in taking out a criminal charge against me in France last year.
It is possible that I could end up in the situation of not even being able to visit my children in France (should they be returned) for fear of imprisonment.
This situation is made ludicrous by the fact that France has jurisdiction over a family, none of whom are French, and have no right to French nationality. The children’s father does not even speak the language.


Submitted by Clia on Mon, 2007-02-19 08:45.

I am german and married an english guy 2 1/2 years ago. Our daughter is now 19 month old. She was born in england. 5 month ago my ex and I separated. After he was (again) beating me up, not even stopping when I did hold Maya in my arms... she was crying so much... This was the last straw for me. This time I stood strong and did not let him come back to us, did not withdraw my police statement. Then the next horror started. He first dragged me to court, saying I would plan to kidnapp Maya. I had to sign an undertaking that I would not do so. Then he went to the social services telling them, I would be a danger to Maya - beating her and not taking care of her. Can you imagine how much this hurts, when you never did anything else than taking care of your baby, loving her every second. This case is closed now, because the social services have no concerns at all, but still it was 3 month extra pressure on my neck. Then I got the news that I am not entitled to benefits, since I am not UK citizen and I am separated from my husband. That ment that we did loose the flat in this process (including the most of my belongings, because he broke in and stole everything valuable that belonged to me). If we have to go back, we will have to fight for shelter and food.
Maya and I are in Germany at the moment because of a crazy story. We went on holiday for chrismas. On our flight back Maya almost died on the plane, not breathing anymore, and we had to emergency land, still in Germany. So we went back to my parents.This was the second time this happened. The physicians can not find anything, but believe this could happen anytime again when we fly. So I have an attest stating that Maya is not alowed to travel. But who knows if this is enough in the long run to not to order us back.Applications are made and I wait for the court order now.
My Ex wants to force us back in order to get us under his control and to punish me. He would not know what to do with Maya since he never did spend much time with her anyway, but he will try to take her away from me just to win. It is so frightening.It makes me sick thinking about how my little girl might get dragged around in this process.


Submitted by stacey on Tue, 2007-02-20 10:19.

Thankyou for posting Clia it will mean allot to people in similar situations to find comfort that someone else is going through it too.

Feel free to contact me anytime a and if you wish I will mention your story in press reports.

Take care, I have a hunch you'll be ok your srong.


Submitted by Rebecca on Sun, 2007-02-18 07:58.

In August 2004 my partner, myself and our 2 year old son all received temporary resident visas for Australia, my partner had got himself a job in Adelaide and the company sponsored our visas. All of us were born and bred in Coventry, England. My partner travelled to Oz the following week and I remained in the UK for a further 3 months with our son so that I could let our house out, pack up some furniture, work my notice in my job etc. It was agreed that the trip to Oz was for two to two and a half years and if we didn't settle there we would come home
(that's why we didn't sell our house). I arrived in Oz in November 2004 with Steven who was then 2yrs and 2months old. To cut a very long story short, it didn't work out for me and my partner. We had many arguments in the presence of Steven, the atmosphere was not pleasant for anyone to be around us and finally the arguments turned to violence. After 2 months I ended the relationship. My partner had previously removed Steven's passport from me and hidden it so I didn't really know what to do at this stage so I just moved into the spare bedroom and we lived separate lives for a few weeks. Eventually my partner gave me Stevens passport back because he realised how unhappy I was and he told me to do what I liked. I made enqs about flights home and told my partner that I was returning to England with Steven the following week. Four days before I was due to return my partner took Steven out for the day and I later noticed that Steven's passport had once again been removed. That night, following a further explosive argument in the presence of Steven, I went to the police to ask for help in obtaining another passport. When I returned home Steven had gone and the following morning my partner contacted me to say he had sought legal advice and he was keeping Steven from me until a court case was heard to prevent me taking Steven out of Australia. For four days I had no idea where my son was. I was in a state of panic, shock, despair, confusion, disbelief. I could not afford legal advice and spent two days at the legal aid office trying to find a solicitor to help me but no one was available or interested. On day two I found one but she was in such a hurry to get me out the office that she hardly had time to hear my story but told me to get my partner to serve his papers on her and she'd see me at court. When I got to court on day 4 I had no idea what was going on but I was advised to sign the orders not to take Steven out of Oz until a proper hearing could be heard and that if I signed them I was guaranteed interim residency of my son and would have him back that night. Of course I signed them, I wanted my son back. After the papers had been signed my solicitor then told me I'd better prepare myself for a long hard fight as this would take 9-12 months if I was lucky, maybe longer, before I could return home. I had no idea what was going on, but apparently what I'd signed were 'consent' orders ( I call them signing under duress orders). That night my son was brought back to me by my partner and he packed his belongings and moved out of the house and in with his new girlfriend, which is where my son had been for the past 4 days. I could not afford to keep the rent up myself on our Oz house, I wasn't entitled to benefits or housing in Oz because of my temporary visa status and I could not get a job because I was the full time carer of my son. The next day I begged my partner to come back so we could try again but he refused and told me I'd better get used to a life in Oz because there was no way he was ever going to allow me to leave, and he also made various other threats of what he'd do to me if I made things difficult for him.
The following morning I fled Adelaide on the first back to the UK, taking my son with me on a 'borrowed' passport belonging to another UK baby boy. I had to get home to the love of my family and some stability for myself and my son and a decent standard of living where I could return to my home and my job and financially support us. I was absolutely desperate. In the past 6 days I'd lost half a stone in weight through stress. As I flew out of Oz I never wanted to return and was glad to see the back of the place. At this time I'd been there for 19 weeks and 17 of those had been damned miserable.

My now ex partner then went to the Central Authority in Australia, in this case, the Attorney Generals department. My ex wanted me done for child abduction and had a court order to help prove his case. Despite us all being on temporary visas and the evidence being clear that our move to Australia was on a two to two and a half year basis, the AG department decided that Australia was my sons country of Habitual Residence and took the necessary action to get him back there. When my ex e-mailed me to tell me what he was doing I was gobsmacked, I'd never heard of this Hague Convention. I researched it on the internet straight away and decided to fight it. I spent every bit of money I had and went into several thousand pounds worth of debt trying to fight this in the UK, but although the UK judge at the Royal Courts of Justice was clearly sympathetic to my cause, she was bound by law to send us back. My barrister told me this was a highly political matter and the judge really had no choice due to the court order in Oz that I'd breached. I'd argued the fact that I had no legal status in Oz (indeed I'd had paperwork from Immigration telling me they would cancel my visa within 28 days of return) and I had nowhere to live and no money to live there, but this made no difference. The UK courts believed they were sending us back to a country that would protect my son, they were not sending him back to the abusive man that I'd left.
I was told that if I didn't return with Steven then I'd basically lose him for good because he'd be collected by the Oz authorities and if I didn't return him I'd be in breach of a High Court order and face imprisonment. I had no choices at that time (or so I thought!) and after 5 months of legal argument I returned to Oz on 21 August 2005.

Despite my ex giving the UK courts various undertakings, one of which was to drop any charges against me, I was immediately arrested on arrival at Adelaide airport by the Federal Police and had my son taken from me. I was charged with passport offences of using a passport not issued to me and bailed to court. I later received a 2 year good behaviour order for this offence, my first ever conviction. The magistrate in the court here took no notice of the judgment made by the UK High Court that I was not to face any charges whatsoever to do with the removal of my son from Oz.

For the first 4 weeks, Steven and I were accommodated by friends who agreed to put us up, but this became a strain on them and us and we had to move on again. No housing agency in Oz would house us because of our visa status and the benefit department could not provide for us but said I was living below poverty levels. Some more friends took us in for another 5 weeks and we had to sleep on the floor in their study, but they made us welcome and I am so grateful to these friends. Unfortunately, after 5 weeks we had to leave their house and I was again with nowhere to go. Then a domestic violence service heard about our plight and gave us shelter in their secure units. This was good for us, but we were not allowed to tell anyone where we lived or allowed visitors for the protection of the other women there so it got quite lonely. I had no money either and felt desperate, so I ended up contacting my ex partner to see if he'd have us back.

He did have us back, but things were no better and after 4 weeks of more rows and hostility I left again and went back to the domestic violence service. My ex later breached his undertakings and stopped paying me any money and the courts in Oz could do nothing about it because undertakings are not enforceable, I should have got 'mirror orders' instead.

So now I was living in poverty and with no income at all and had to go cap in hand to charity and the Salvation Army and beg for help. I felt worthless, guilty, embarrassed etc but my other alternative was shoplifting and I didn't want to result to that.

A local church minister who helped the domestic violence service told his congregation about me, and at the end of his service some people had come forward with money to give to me. These generous people had never met me but were appalled at my circumstances and wanted to help. The minister contacted the domestic violence service and asked to meet me. That was in Dec 2005 and from that day to this, he and the church have been my lifeline, my sanity, my inspiration and they have saved me from despair and given me the strength and courage to fight this.

It took me 11 and a half months for my case to get to court for a Relocation Trial to be allowed to return to England. It took a further 3 months before the judgement was released and I got permission to return to the UK on 8 November 2006. By this time my son had settled here, started pre school and got used to seeing his daddy every weekend (by court order). Steven was upset at the thought of returning to England and not seeing his daddy anymore, so I decided that as we'd now found friends and settled then I would remain in Oz.

Now the story takes a different turn. We are not entitled to remain here because we only have temporary resident visas and do not qualify for permanent visas to remain. If I did want to obtain permanent residency in Australia it would cost me in the region of $12.000.

Central Authorites, Immigration Departments and Benefit Departments do not liaise with one another. When I first took up my complaint with the Attorney Generals department about our welfare in this country they told me quite ruthlessly that their job was to get us back here and once we arrived the case was closed and that was it. I've since got them to investigate my case and asked them to look at how we have habitual residence in Oz when we were only on temporary visas. How could we have a
"settled and permanent intention to remain in a new country" under these circumstances?

I have since found out on their own website that the Central Authority requesting the return of a child/children has to ensure the welfare of the child/children and make sure they have somewhere to live and can be financially provided for. They seem to waive this by relying on 'undertakings' that parents give to the court in the requested country of return. I have accused the Attorney Generals department in Oz of failing in their duty of care to provide for my son. I have yet to hear a reply from them.

Had I have known the intolerable situation I was facing on my return here in August 2005 I would not have returned. The Australian Federal Police could not have just come and took Steven. They would have first had to obtain a Collection Order from the Oz courts and have this approved by the UK Courts, and I have been told that this is a complicated matter and involves welfare reports on the best interests of the child. I would have faced the consequences of breaching the UK court order instead of taking my son back to a place of homelessness and begging for money to buy basic food/nappies/clothes etc. What would have become of us if we hadn't have stumbled on the Uniting Church? There is no guarantee that every woman and child facing a return somewhere will have a church come to their rescue, I just got lucky.

My campaign to raise awareness to families who are looking at migrating continues and I shall not stop until I am satisfied that this has been done. Immigration departments need to provide literature and leaflets to would-be migrants, and government departments need to liaise with one another about how the child and parent will be supported once they arrive back in the country that has requested the return. At the moment, everyone passes the buck and no one wants to accept responsibility.

And finally - I found out last Tuesday that if I'd have stayed in an abusive relationship with my ex then I would have got permanent residency to remain in Oz, but because I left him I now don't qualify and have to fork out a lot of money to find another way. What sort of message is this sending out to a civilised world? Mad heh!!


Submitted by G THOMPSON 5 on Tue, 2007-02-20 12:01.

G Thompsonhello rebecca.well i am so familiar with your storey.all the courts returning childeren ,and knowing that the country ,returned to is by h/c rules LOOK AFTEWR THE LEGAL AND WELFARE,but as we should all be getting MORE AWARE of this h/c rule .is never followed up.read my daughter claire and sydneys story.we have had five years of battles with dept embassis etc they all pass the book,in the meantime AND UNTIL THE H.C IS CHANGED this will keep happening.AND CHILDEREN ARE SUFFERING.so glad that after all your probs you may now at least know that your son is settled.you may have a time of calmness in your life.WE ALL NOW KNOW THAT WE ARE IN MEDIA EYE AND KEEP UP THIS AWARENESS FOR ALL PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THE FAILINGS OF THE HAGUE CONVENTION AND STOP THE COURTS RETURNING FAMILIES WHEN THEY AND U.K. HELP SITES .. KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES.I T IS A HUGE INTERNATIONAL PROB AND WILL NEED ALL COUNTRIES IN H/C TO REDRESS.


Submitted by stacey on Tue, 2007-02-20 10:14.

Thankyou Rebbeca it looks like you put a lot of work into that. By doing this you will raise awareness on the failings of the H/C. I'm still fighting, it looks like I'm going to have to defend myself in the appeal but I refuse to be beaten this thing is WRONG and I WILL make a difference,keep your eyes open for national coverage. Feel free to contact the media if you beleive it will help lets blow this thing out of the water!!!!!!


Submitted by G THOMPSON 5 on Fri, 2007-02-16 13:13.

G Thompson,yes this is similar to hundreds of cases children sent back to misery.i and my daughter and grandaughter have been through this for the last 5 years,the times i have banged my head on the wall at sheer frustration after contacting variouse,U.K and USA. goverment depts, embassies ,THEY AL;L PASSED THE BOOK.and even a letter from MR BLAIR and PRESIDENT BUSH.no legal aid once abroad so no help ,we have had some media coverage in U.K. but even then as people do not understand the H/C NO REAL FUNDING SUPPORT WHEN ABROAD.PLEASE GET ANYONE YOU KNOW WHO AS BEEN IN THIS TRAP OR IF YOU HAVE BEEN OR ARE IN SAME POSITION CONTACT THIS SITE AND GIVE JESSICA SOME MORE VOICE and funds. LETS REALLY SHOW THIS GOVERMENT HOW MANY OF OUR CHILDREN BEEN SENT TO HELL.


Submitted by stacey on Thu, 2007-02-15 19:31.

Stacey,

Oh my goodness, my heart is racing and I can't type quickly enough!. I need for you to call me if at all possible. I am in America and cannot call out. My Name is Claire-Marie Thompson, my Daughter is Sydney-Lee. She is 6 years old and will be 7 on the 21st of this month. I have had quite allot of media coverage concerning The Hague Convention and what has happened to my Daughter over here and it is so disheartening that nobody has helped. If you call we can talk more. My Dad e-mailed me just before I left for work today saying "Urgent, Jessica's Voice, please look at website Claire" His name is Danny Thompson and he has as much fight in him as we do. So many Women and Children are absolutely exhausted from this aren't they?

Well, I am 6 hours behind you, but you can call ANYTIME I work between the hours of 9-5 my time (3 and 9pm UK time).

Maybe Jessica and Sydney and many more children will FINALLY get a voice Stacey.

I can't tell you how excited I am, It's been such a long hard road, but our strength comes from nowhere doesn't it. I get my strength every time I see my Daughters beautiful smile, every time she looks at me.

I have soooo much to tell you!. I was going to come to the houses of Parliament for an interview to help Sydney, but nobody took this seriously!!

PLEASE CALL IF YOU CAN!!!

My Family is from Yorkshire (us Northerners are strong Women aren't we??!!)

God Bless

Claire-Marie & Sydney-Lee XXXXX

By the way Jessica, I have also attached a picture of Sydney's Grandpa, he was a soldier (still is!) for 16 years ....this is where Sydney gets alot of her strength from xxxx

Hi Jessica, would you like a new little friend who is going through the same pain that you are????.......we'll have to arrange a tea-party with The Prime minister!!!!!!!!!!!! for all of the children who have been hurt and scared by the Hague Convention, but don't worry sweetie-pie, your Mummy and I are so strong and we get stronger every time you feel sad or weak XXX and best of all....we Love you more as each day goes by xxxx

Claire~Marie.